Chapter 38

When Zhou Han returned, Lin Li was sitting alone on the living room sofa. A bottle of red wine—already half-empty—sat on the low table before her; she was half-reclining, still holding a glass that was more than half full.

Zhou Han changed his shoes and stepped inside, placing his keys and briefcase on the sofa. He glanced at the wine and then at the reclining Lin Li, his brows knitting slightly as he asked, "Why are you drinking?" His tone was somewhat detached—typical of his unique way of showing concern.

Lin Li slowly turned her head to look at him. She stared for a long moment before suddenly smiling. "They say alcohol drowns out sorrow," she said. "I thought drinking would really let me forget those unhappy memories, but why is it that the more I drink, the more clearly I remember the things that upset me?" 

As she spoke, her face twisted with distress and a sense of grievance. "I thought drinking would cheer me up, but instead, I just feel worse."

Zhou Han looked at her and said coolly, "Then don't drink." He reached out to take the glass from her hand.

Lin Li dodged his hand and shook her head. "No—don't. I want to keep drinking; if I get drunk, I won't remember anymore." She raised the glass and downed the rest of the wine in one gulp. The fumes rushed up, making her frown so deeply it looked as though a mosquito caught between her brows would be crushed to death.

Zhou Han’s own brows furrowed tightly as he watched her. After a long pause, he finally asked, "What happened?"

Lin Li didn't look at him; it was unclear whether she was drunk or not. She simply shook her head and smiled, saying, "Nothing. Nothing at all." She reached for the wine bottle on the low table, but just as her hand was about to grasp it, Zhou Han snatched it away. Lin Li looked up at him in dissatisfaction; reeking heavily of alcohol, she protested, "I want to keep drinking!"

Zhou Han met her gaze—his eyes intense and somewhat piercing—and simply said, "You're drunk."

"I'm not!" Lin Li shook her head, denying his assessment. "I'm not drunk—though I *do* want to get drunk. But right now, I'm still perfectly clear-headed; I'm not drunk." As she spoke, she stood up and reached out, trying to snatch the alcohol from Zhou Han's hand.

Zhou Han sidestepped to avoid her and asked tentatively, "Did something happen to Gu Anran and Su Yicheng?"

"Of course not; their relationship is going great." Lin Li denied it, reaching out again for the drink he was holding. "Give me the alcohol."

Zhou Han dodged the question and asked again, "Does this have something to do with Cheng Xiang?"

At these words, Lin Li froze—much like a robot suddenly hitting a pause button and locking into place.

----- please read the translation from https://irisatdusk.blogspot.com/

Zhou Han understood everything instantly. He pressed the bottle of alcohol into her hand and said, "It seems you really aren't drunk. If you’re so desperate to get drunk, go ahead; if you wake up with a headache tomorrow, I have a hangover cure."

Lin Li blinked, slowly snapping out of her trance. She looked at the bottle in her hand, then at Zhou Han standing before her. After a long moment, she finally asked, "How did you..."

Zhou Han looked at her and finished her sentence: "How did I know, is that it?"

Lin Li nodded, fixing her gaze steadily on him.

Zhou Han smiled and sat on the sofa opposite her. "You aren't hard to figure out. If it wasn't about Gu Anran, who else but Cheng Xiang could reduce you to this state?"

Lin Li stared at him intently for a long time, then let out a self-deprecating laugh. She sat on the floor with the bottle, her shoulders heaving as a mix of laughter and sobbing escaped her lips. "Heh..."

Zhou Han remained silent, watching her steadily without moving to pull her up.

Lin Li continued her bitter laughter for a while longer; then, suddenly abandoning her glass, she tilted her head back and began chugging the red wine straight from the bottle.

The dark red liquid trickled down the corner of her mouth and dripped onto her pure white shirt, spreading into a large, dark crimson stain that looked like a blossoming plum blossom.

"Cough, cough..." She had drunk too hastily; the wine went down the wrong way, choking her throat and surging up into her nasal cavity. She coughed violently, her face flushing a deep red from the discomfort. Zhou Han simply sat there watching her, remaining completely unmoved; he neither stopped her nor offered any comfort.

Lin Li coughed for quite a while before finally subsiding; her throat burned painfully from the violent fit. Clutching her cup, she suddenly burst into tears—though whether it was due to the physical distress of the coughing or something else entirely, she could not say.

She threw the red wine bottle to the side with a bit of anger, then she bent her legs and hugged her knees and started crying attentively. She didn't care about the red wine poured out and stained the off-white high-end carpet specially customized for France on the ground.

Lin Li cried very sadly and attentively, hugging her knees and burying her head on them, and whined. But the low whine could tell how depressed she was crying, and how distressing it was to be seen in the eyes of others.

----- please read the translation from https://irisatdusk.blogspot.com/

Zhou Han finally made a move and stepped forward to hug her into his arms. He didn't say a word, but just held her tightly. Feeling his embrace, Lin Li stopped hugging her shoulders, stretched out her arms to hug Zhou Han's lean waist, and then cried loudly, crying out all the grievances she had hidden in her heart.

Lin Li didn't know how long she had been crying like this. It wasn't until her eyes started to ache from crying that Lin Li finally slowly stopped crying and turned into soft sobs.

After sobbing like this for a while, Lin Li reached out and slowly pushed him away. Seeing the suit jacket on his chest that was a little ugly because of her tears, Lin Li felt a little guilty and embarrassed, and whispered: "I'm sorry."

Zhou Han lowered his head and looked at the blur of tears and runny nose on his chest. He took off his coat and put it aside. He asked in a low voice: "Do you still want to cry? I can lend you my shoulder for free."

Lin Li shook her head and whispered, "I can't cry anymore."

Hearing this, Zhou Han curled his lips.

The two of them sat on the ground like this, and neither of them spoke for a while.

I don't know whether it was because she was too tired recently or because too many things happened today. Lin Li's feet suddenly cramped while she was sitting. The pain was so painful that she screamed out, "Ah...ah..." She bent over and reached out to press her legs, but the pain was so painful that she couldn't lean over at all.

Seeing this, Zhou Han took her feet and put them in the air. He reached out and patted her calves quickly. It took a while for Lin Li's cramp to slowly subside.

Seeing her expression relax, Zhou Han asked, "Are you feeling better?"

Lin Li nodded and looked at her calf intently for a while before she said, "He always patted me like this when I had cramps in the past."

Zhou Han looked up at her. He knew that he was referring to Cheng Xiang in her mouth. He frowned and asked, "Is he so hard for you to let go of?"

Lin Li didn't look at him, just shook her head and said, "I can let it go."

Zhou Han looked at her angrily and said, "Can you drink so much wine if you can let it go?"

Lin Li turned to look at him, stared at him for a while, and asked, "What was it about Lingran that made him fall in love with her?"

Hearing this, Zhou Han was stunned and looked at her aggressively, but did not say anything for a while.

----- please read the translation from https://irisatdusk.blogspot.com/

Lin Li didn't seem to expect an answer from him; she turned her head toward the floor-to-ceiling window and spoke slowly. 

"It was love at first sight for me. From the moment I first saw him, I told myself he was the 'Prince Charming' I’d been looking for—gentle, refined, and cultured. I was the one who pursued him. I didn't care what others thought; I confessed my feelings whenever I saw him, regardless of the time or place. 

He rejected me the first time, and the second time, too. The third, fourth, fifth times... without exception, he turned me down every single time, citing a mismatch in our personalities. Almost the entire school knew I was chasing him, and just as many knew I’d been rejected countless times. 

People looked at me as if I were a joke, and many classmates urged me to give up, but I refused to admit defeat. I felt that 'incompatible personalities' wasn't a valid reason—I was even willing to change myself for him. I sought him out wherever he went—the library, the basketball court, the path between the classroom and the dorms—creating every possible opportunity for this 'love' of mine. 

Finally—I don't even remember which attempt it was—he unexpectedly agreed to be with me. I still remember how happy I was back then, yet I overlooked his expression at the time. Looking back now, I recall the look of resignation on his face; even his smile was forced, though I hadn't noticed it then. 

I may not be brilliant, but I’m not so foolish that I couldn't tell whether he truly loved me. He thought he was hiding it well, thought I didn't know—but it was *he* who was in the dark. He would call out another woman's name while holding me in bed—and not just once." As Lin Li spoke, her expression remained impassive, yet the tears welling in her eyes betrayed an emotion she could no longer suppress.

Zhou Han listened quietly, without interjecting a single word. Lin Li wiped the tears from her face and gave a self-deprecating tug at the corner of her mouth before continuing: "I just said I wasn't stupid, but looking back now, I really was. I knew full well he didn't love me, yet I naively believed that time could change everything—that, given enough time, I could slowly replace that shadow in his heart. But how can one forget a deep love? The person he loves isn't me; it has always been *her*. So, whether I spent ten years or twenty trying, I was bound to fail."

She turned to look at Zhou Han and, after a long pause, continued: "He came to see me today, insisting over and over that he loved me and couldn't live without me. But then Xiaoxiao showed up. She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist and held him back. He looked pained... I used to hold him just as tightly, yet I could never keep a hold on him. I know it wasn't that he *couldn't* push Xiaoxiao away; he simply didn't have the heart to, or perhaps he didn't want to." 

As she spoke, Lin Li smiled; she gazed at the wine glass sitting on the low table, lightly touched its rim, and whispered to herself, "I won't love him anymore. Truly."

Zhou Han followed her gaze to the glass. After a moment, while he was still somewhat lost in thought, Lin Li turned to face him and said firmly, "Zhou Han, does what you said back then still hold true?"

Zhou Han snapped back to reality, furrowed his brows slightly, and asked, "What did I say?"

"Turning the act into reality," Lin Li said, looking at him with a steady, earnest gaze.

Zhou Han stared intently back at her. "To do what?"

Lin Li replied, "To make love."

----- please read the translation from https://irisatdusk.blogspot.com/